We’ve all heard the phrase “come as you are, Jesus accepts you.” And yes, I have heard it before, even as a teenager when I was hopping from church to church to find the right one. It had eventually become a crutch phrase that people at sermons would throw out to lessen the blow of conviction on one’s life, that God seeks to sanctify.

Yes, it is correct. Come As You Are. Jesus wants you in all your flaws, mistakes, brokenness, hardened heart, attitude, depression, and selfishness. He wants you and ALL of you. Not just the good parts.

But one thing that people often forget to add is that giving your life to Jesus, all of it (the good, the bad, and the ugly), means you are also CHOOSING to not stay as you are. You are choosing to be more like Jesus.

Many times, I have heard someone say, “That’s just who I am, “I was born this way”, “It is my mental state”, and this includes me! I was also the someone who would say these things. I would also say, “God loves me no matter what,” which He does, but I used it as a reference for allowing myself to be disobedient towards God’s Word and what He clearly asks me not to do.

He died for all the mistakes made, all the heartache you have ever experienced, and all the tears you have shed so He can wipe them away. But God never intends to keep us in our brokenness. When we give our lives to Him (declaring that Jesus is our saviour), we also surrender our control (or lack thereof) to Him as well, and in doing so, God begins the process of sanctification.

So, what is all this sanctification stuff? Well, there are three kinds, but ultimately, it is you being made holy into the image of Christ. This is a great explanation that I found:

 “Sanctification is the theological process of being made holy and set apart for God's purposes. In Christian theology, it refers to the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit to transform believers to become more like Jesus Christ, separating them from sin.

The concept of sanctification is generally understood in three distinct phases:

  • Positional Sanctification: Also known as definitive sanctification, this happens instantly the moment an individual becomes a Christian. Through faith in Christ, a believer is declared holy and permanently set apart for God’s kingdom.
  • Progressive Sanctification: This is the lifelong, ongoing experience of spiritual growth. Through this process, guided by the Holy Spirit and the reading of Scripture, the believer gradually turns away from sin and matures in moral character and godliness.
  • Ultimate Sanctification: Also referred to as glorification, this is the completion of the process. It is the final state of perfection and holiness that a believer experiences in the afterlife, entirely free from the presence of sin.

The word originates from the Latin sanctificatio and the Greek hagiasmos, both of which translate to holiness or dedication to the sacred. It differs from justification, which is the initial legal declaration of a believer's forgiveness by God.”

Powerful! You are first made holy when you are adopted as a child of God into the kingdom family and are saved. Here is the exact passage:

Romans 10:9: "Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved”

But asking God to save you but then not asking him to change you is not sanctification; that is a scapegoat.

Let me explain. When someone says, “I love dogs.” But every time they see a dog, they yell at it, kick it, throw something at it, or call it names. Do you really believe this person loves dogs? Of course not! Because we all know the saying, “Actions speak louder than words”.

The same goes for loving God and accepting Him as saviour. If we say, “Please Lord save me from this pain!” Do you not think He will remove the objects and the character flaws in your life that cause you pain? Of course! He is a good Father and does not want to see us hurt in any way. Does it not break your heart when you see a loved one hurt themselves? Would it not break your heart even more if you saw them do it over and over again AND you had the ability to take the pain away if only they would let you?

That is exactly what God wants for us.

I believe that the first sanctification has to do with your heart/soul, and is sanctified when you accept Christ as Lord.

But the mind is what needs to be sanctified daily, as the process of the second sanctification is that of being purified by fire so that our gold and silver may shine.

“The metaphor of God as a refiner who purifies us like silver is deeply rooted in scripture, notably appearing in Malachi 3:3 and Zechariah 13:9. It symbolizes how God uses the intense "heat" of life's trials to bring our impurities to the surface, ultimately refining our character until we perfectly reflect His image”

And the last sanctification is the body. When we are in Heaven one day, we will not feel or have any physical ailments. But the heaviest change is that of our mind.

I love when Paul says "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing" (NIV) – Romans 7:15 . Because, his heart does not want to do sin and it loves God, but the mind is often the unwilling party that just wants to be worldly and fleshly and give in to its desires.

The body moves with what the mind tells it, but the mind hardly listens to the heart. This is why the process of sanctification is lifelong, because anyone at any moment can fall, but what matters is that you get back up again, sincerely ask for forgiveness, and try again.

“Proverbs 24:16, which says: "For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity" (NKJV). It highlights that the defining mark of the righteous isn't a lack of failure, but the God-given strength to get back up”.

Now, there is one thing you must know, is that God is a gentleman. He will never change you without your permission. You obviously realised that the way you were living and the mindset you had were not working for you, and so you gave your heart to God and asked His Holy Spirit to dwell within you. In this realisation, one must see that in order for God to also help us change, we need to act as well.

We have autonomy over our lives; that is the gift of free will and how we choose to use that gift is up to us. Choosing that gift to be obedient to God because we love Him is a way we choose sanctification and choose God to change our lives for the better. One also realises that they are not perfect and they need someone perfect to help them become perfect. You have realised that you do not want to stay or continue this way, which is why you chose Jesus. So, you need to make the conscious decision daily to pick up your cross, dying to yourself and choosing God over everything and surrender the things to Him that He needs to change. You will stumble, you will fail, but you MUST get up again!

But one thing is for sure: I never want my process of refinement to be the reason someone fears the process or the Refiner themselves.

So what are practical steps you can take?

  1. Pray every single day. Yes, we have heard this one over and over again, but prayer is communion with God. He can see all that is happening, but He wants to be invited into the conversation too. A relationship is built on connection. How do you expect to build a connected relationship with God if you don’t even speak to Him? Prayers also don’t need to be long-winded. I speak to God about everything and often. This quote is quite telling: “I never pray for longer than 15 minutes, but I never go 15 minutes without praying.” Again, this is a relationship. If I don’t speak to my husband for longer than 15 minutes when we are together in the day, he will immediately think something is wrong! "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
  2. Meditate on His Word Day and Night. No, the primary connotation of the word ‘meditate’ is not you sitting from 8 am to 8 pm saying “Ohmmmm”! Meditation means to engage in deep concentration or focus on something. And this is not a meditative practice where your mind wanders, and you spiral into random or dark thoughts. God asks us not to allow our minds to wander like that but to focus our minds on His Word because they bring peace and joy and clarity. So when you are washing the dishes, think on things above. When you are having your morning coffee, contemplate on a scripture that God speaks life over you (I love reciting Psalm 23). “meditate on his word day and night" Joshua 1:8. Psalm 1:2 states: "But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night" (ESV). 2 Corinthians 10:5: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ".
  3. Pick a Book in the Bible & Study it! Daily Quiet Time and practice over understanding the scriptures allows our minds to be filled with things from above. Staring at our phones or watching reality TV is not going to feed our souls. Reading life-giving scripture that is also a manual on how to live a prosperous life and obey God is how our soul is filled. I recommend starting with Romans and really studying it, getting deep with the translations, the history, the archaeology, everything! You start to become a nerd for it because God is SO fascinating and creative.  "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." – Psalm 119:105 "...Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." – Matthew 4:4 "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness..." – 2 Timothy 3:16
  4. Daily Death & Forgiveness & Grace. Because we all fall short of the glory of God and ending the old part of our lives is deeply mournful, one must grieve it and then move on. It is called “dying to yourself,” and it is a practice one must do every day. The moment we feel we are better, that’s your ego speaking, the old you. Have you ever heard of an ego death? That is exactly what needs to happen. Two lives cannot occupy one soul. If you are to begin your new life with God, you need to act on your free will gift and choose to let go of your old life by ending any pattern that would bring you back to your old self. “Not my will but Your will be done, God.” It is a daily death cycle of choosing God over yourself. But also, in doing so, have forgiveness for yourself for messing up. You will not shame the sin away - that has never worked in the history of humanity. The only thing that washes away sin is Jesus and His love. So, give yourself AND OTHERS grace (because everyone messes up, we are to offer our forgiveness and grace to them too, just like Jesus would) and forgive yourself as well as your old self for the mistakes you made. This helps you to also stop looking at your past self’s mistakes. It’s done & you’re forgiven. Give yourself some grace. Luke 9:23 "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (ESV). Galatians 2:20: "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." 1 Corinthians 15:31: "I affirm, by the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily." Romans 6:11: "So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus." (ESV)
  5. Faith Without Works Is Dead. And lastly, remember the “Actions speak louder than words”? If we love God, and we want to live a life of loving God, we show our love through our obedience. That is God’s love language, faith and obedience. That is exactly why Paul says that if you have faith in God, but you don’t act like it, you don’t move like it, or speak like it; then you don’t actually have faith in God. The best thing I found is WWJD – What Would Jesus Do? Because that really does work! The Holy Spirit will guide you and you need to learn to listen, and when you have read your Bible, you will have the knowledge too, but sometimes a simple, “WWJD?” can do the trick! Live like God is standing right next to you, because He is, and love like it is Jesus Himself you are loving, because it is. James 2:26: "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also". Matthew 25:40, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."  Matthew 22:39 "Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."Of course, there is an obvious one though: STAY IN A CHRIST-LIKE COMMUNITY! That saying that you are the sum of the five people around you? Real. I know it is hard; trust me, I have had to let go of some amazing friends, but they were taking me away from God, and once you get a taste of pure love that is literally life-altering, you can never go back to who you were. So, go to church, stay in church, join a life group, be part of this community. There is more life-giving joy in that community than in a million secular ones.

Just remember though, Sanctification is God’s job. Yours is to allow the process of sanctification to happen and trust that what God is doing is right. Just like the silver that freely moves in the refiner’s hand to become pure, so should you ask God to move freely in your life and make you pure. So, come as you are, because God wants you and all your hardships, but he will never leave you with all your hardships.

I pray you are able to unclench your fists and open your heart and allow God to change the pains you struggle with and break the chains that bind you. In Jesus' Name. Amen.